| Motivation Slump |
[Jan. 16th, 2015|06:38 pm]
Not your everyday Viking angel
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| [ | Tags | | | life, writing | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Gaslight Anthem | ] |
So, I am still laid up with my broken leg (though that's over-dramatising it, seeing as it's only a hairline fracture and a sprain), slowly getting back to walking without a splint and crutches, but not ready to go back to work yet.
Which means, I'd technically have time to write. And I have been meaning to! Except, I catch myself procrastinating on tumblr, and reading books and fic instead. It's not due to a lack of ideas: I have around 20 unfinished stories, where I know exactly what's going to happen, but can't be bothered to actually work on for more than five minutes without being frustrated because the words don't come out right. Everything just feels bland and awkward, and I keep wondering why I bother. Getting kudos for my old stories thrown my way every few days helps a bit, but it's not enough to really get me going at a steady pace. (Not even by my own, more than modest standards of productivity.)
I bet that as soon as I have to go back to work, I'll be enthusiastic about writing again -- except, then I'll be back to where I have zero time, and will be too tired to produce anything worthwhile in the few hours I actually do get to it. I'm almost wistful for my teenage years, when I would effortlessly write several pages a day (and by hand!) and still feel like writing more or drawing story illustrations (I can't even remember the last time I drew anything besides phone doodles of wonky squares and unrealistically proportioned naked people).
I wonder why that is? Uni-related burn-out that got me in the habit of procrastinating absolutely everything (even things I love) just for procrastination's sake years ago, and that I've been unable to shake since? A perfectionist's sense of self-preservation, meant to keep me from sinking infinite time and attention into something I'll never be great at/get no practical value out of? Lack of an enthusiastic audience? A mixture of all of these? *sigh*
Any advice? |
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tired
accomplished
happy
thoughtful
lazy